I have battled depression most of my life and the enemy really knows how to push my buttons. Sometimes he is more successful than other times. I am really struggling tonight with God's plan for me! What was such a happy yes last week is now on hold. The enemy is pummeling me with insecurity and rejection! I know I didn't do anything to put it on hold but it so hard when God shows you a passion so full of freedom! Now, I am at a simmer, down from a rapid boil.
This is a wave that wants to overtake me but HE won't let it overtake me! I trust him to do what is best for me but it is still hard. The excitement must be capped for another day and I only want what the Father has for me in His timing, so I wait......... God is always faithful to show me the warning signs of descending into a darkness where the enemy wants to keep me, but he will not win. God wants me in the light, He woos me to the light, He calls me His princess to walk in His light and embrace His truth. This ON HOLD moment isn't about me but about His perfect timing.
Disappointment stings as if stung by a bee, but if we reach for the light and keep our eyes on Him, He lifts us up! He is the lifter of our heads! As He lifts our head, the pain dulls and then is just a memory. He is Faithful! God is showing me so much on my freedom journey and we all have our own struggles for freedom, but One Fact Remains, God Wants us FREE and walking in His Light and Truth!
I have been listening to a new cd tonight as I battle and God has really ministered to me in it. Here are the words to Struck By the Beauty. Let these words wash over you and whatever your struggling with today and keep your eyes on Him and run to the LIGHT, I am waiting there for you and so is HE! He delights in you and you are His treasure! You are caught in His gaze!
A little bumpy today but still enjoying the ride......
Stacey
Struck By the Beauty
You found me in the darkness of my valley
You were there
You were there
And You pulled me out of darkness into Your glorious light
By Your love
By Your love
I have been struck by the beauty
By the beauty of the Lord
You have ravished my heart from the things of this world
You have lifted me up
Opened my heart and awakened my love
Now I am caught in a gaze
A gaze of the Lord
You have ravished my heart from the things of this world
You have lifted me up
Opened my heart and awakened my love
Now I have found a home where I belong
Within the arms of a Father who calls me His own.
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I'm reminded of this verse: "The Lord is good to those who wait for Him." Lamentations 3:25
ReplyDeleteWaiting is the hardest part of the journey for me...but isn't it in the waiting where we learn so much? Where we grow? Where He takes us to places we never knew we could go? The waiting is His "growing" us...and our patience in the waiting is our virtue.
Stacy, I like your determination to stay in the LIGHT!
ReplyDeleteEsther 8:16: "The Jews had light and gladness, joy and honor." This came when they got the word that they could defend themselves against their enemies, instead of being slaughtered helplessly.
Thank you for standing, for yourself, your family, and for us; you're imparting His strength through our "joint" with you.
And thank you for the song!! I so appreciate the Spirit's heart-healing through you.
Tyra, thank you for the reminder about patience; it's not a waste of time after all.
PS--"I want my heart to be so settled on Him, that if anyone so much as even *smiles* at me today, it's a bonus!"
I know exactly what you mean, how you feel!
ReplyDeleteI am reminded once again that it is a season and thank GOD that seasons DO change. I am also comforted that Jesus has been through it all and knows exactly how we feel also. Thank you for your transparency, you are beautiful:)